morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I think my nap took me to another dimension
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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