i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize