Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
why do cheetos always look like penises
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
