Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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