Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
