I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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