Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize