I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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