been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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