YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
How does one acquire holy water?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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