he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
