I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
His nipple licking is glorious
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