If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Randomize
