if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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