I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
