just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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