Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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