Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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