we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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