The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
