i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
It's just like the Real World with babies
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
