And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
