The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i dont even know how to be here
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
