If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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