The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
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