even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
