Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
