eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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