Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
