This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
