i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
