we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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