im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
