he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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