Your dad touched me again.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
