i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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