She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
