Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
