Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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