On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
