D3 body, D1 cock
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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