Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
