Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
