I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
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It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
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How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy