Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
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How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
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Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.