HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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