dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I need a burrito and a hug.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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