Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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