You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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