best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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