I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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