I think my vagina is haunted
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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