mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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