My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
