Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
