he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
