I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
