You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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