i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
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