i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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