meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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