Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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