Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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