my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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