I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize